My clients often let me into a very vulnerable space. Sometimes it's a space that their extended family members, friends, therapists, doctors, personal trainers and co-workers don't see. It's a space that makes them feel less than worthy. I hear people say, more often than not, that they feel shame when they look at their home or the space within their home that they want my help with. They tell me they're embarrassed to let me see it or that it's going to "drive me crazy." They worry that I'll think they're "crazy" or that they're a "hoarder." Well guess what? It's nobody's business. Life is hard. There's a lot that people are juggling and sometimes those spinning plates manifest themselves as clutter. I do my work from a place of support, to empower and lift up those I work with. Yes I'm focused, yes I'm there to get the job done and yes, I ask a lot of questions to help my clients make really good decisions. But the only reason to do this work on your home, the only reason to get organized, is if the disorganization is causing you stress. For you, the most important "thing" in your home. This is about you living the life you want to live, not your stuff. If you want to have a room full of troll dolls that no one can walk in, then so be it. It's your home. But if that room is stressing you out, makes you feel shame or in general doesn't lift you up then it is time to make a change. Your home should be an oasis space that lifts you up when you return to it, helps you rejuvenate & works for you, not against you. You do have to work at organizing every day to maintain it just like you have to work at eating healthy & exercising every day to stay fit. Good things are worth working for. This is your home, you change it when you're ready. The only exceptions are when it's unsafe, unsanitary or both. In those instances there's no option but to change it. Do this for you, from an internal place of hope, and you will find the process to be liberating and freeing. I believe in you. You can take back your space.
My Top 3 Tips for Overcoming that Feeling of Shame:
1.You are not alone. Know that you're not the only one struggling with clutter. There are a lot of people feeling overwhelmed by the stuff in their homes. People you'd never imagine based on how they appear in life or on social media. I work with a huge spectrum of people; many successful, super intelligent, busy people. Everyone thinks that everyone else has it all together but I'm here to tell you we're all in this together and it's not easy. There's a lot of people struggling with this for many different reasons.
2.Ask for help. Trust that it's worth getting help to reclaim your home and your self worth. Strong leaders seek the advice of experts. They ask for help and surround themselves with people that are the best at what they do. You can do the same.
3.Positive self talk. Give yourself some credit for all that you do. Remind yourself of how much you do accomplish each day. Keep a journal or list of the things you do so that when you look back at the week you can see just how much you're doing. Tell yourself you're doing a good job. You will deflate your own balloon if you tell yourself all of the awful things shame makes us say to ourselves. Self praise as many times as necessary until you believe it. This isn't narcissistic, it's healthy to speak kindly to yourself. Reclaiming your self esteem will help you reclaim your space and vice versa.